Parents guide to grooming in sport
Grooming happens when someone plans, on purpose, a series of tricks to gain a child's trust, so they can sexually abuse that child. Sports can help children meet more safe, caring adults. But some people use this same trust to groom children and abuse them instead. Grooming can happen in person, online, by phone, or in more than one of these ways at the same time. Texts, social media, video calls, and messaging apps can give abusers constant access to a child and this access is often hidden from other people. To build trust with a child, and sometimes with the child's family too, abusers often choose children who feel alone or vulnerable. Younger children and children with disabilities are at higher risk of being groomed.
Identifying Grooming
Grooming means someone is using tricks to manipulate a child. Because of this, it can be hard to tell the difference between a caring adult and someone who is grooming your child for abuse. Instead of looking at one action alone, look for a pattern of behavior. Watch for someone who:
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Tries to build trust with you and your child beyond their normal role in the sport, by giving special treatment
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Isolates your child by finding ways to be alone with them, or by causing problems in your child's friendships and family relationships
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Tests limits by making it unclear what behaviour is okay and what is not
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Brings sexual behaviour into the relationship, by pushing sexual limits and bringing up sexual topics or actions (many of these actions are also sexual abuse)
Parents usually notice grooming once it becomes sexual. But if you can spot the early signs below, you may be able to stop the grooming before it goes that far.
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Wanting, more than seems normal, to babysit or find other chances to be alone with your child
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Becoming your child's friend by acting like a peer, a best friend, or a "cool adult"
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Giving your child or your family gifts, private lessons, or special treatment that no one else gets
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Encouraging your child to spend time with them secretly, in person or online
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Talking with your child about sexual thoughts, or about problems in adult relationships
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Insisting on physical contact with your child, such as hugging, touching, or tickling
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Often walking in on your child, or undressing in front of them, in bathrooms, showers, or changing rooms
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Using their power or authority to get one-on-one time with your child